Snow is melting. Birds are singing. The sun is shining. Life goes on. The isolation, the frigid feeling that everything I once knew was over, it's vanished. These past few months, I wondered why anyone would choose to live in this desolate, bare land. Everything has been gray and quiet, almost as if life paused, only to begin again now. Maybe people choose to live here because the start of spring really is the start of a new beginning. Coming from a place that had two seasons, cold and summer, seeing the beginning of this new spring feels like a fresh start for all things. I know that it will still take a while to get over being so far away from the only home I've ever known, those I hold dear in my heart, and the ocean that I never wanted to move away from, but today feels like the beginning. We've been here for eight months, though when I stepped out my door today and heard the birds sing and felt the warmth around me, it felt like the first day in another new land. Today was the first time I felt not simply at peace, but happy to be here.

Some days, it really kills me that I'm twelve hundred miles away from my brother, missing out on him growing up.

Country Music: Effective & Affective

There is this local radio station here, CC 106.3, that I find myself listening to more and more. I started listening to it one night on my way home from somewhere (shopping, probably.) It's not too bad. During the day, they play some really old songs that I can't really get into, but at night, they have this radio host that is amazing. People will call in and tell her what's going on in their life and ask her to pick a song that would be perfect for them and the situation they find themselves in. Or they will request a specific song and give a story behind why they are requesting it. And the stories these people share along with the song chosen always makes me misty-eyed, if not all out cry. For example, one man called in and requested Brad Paisley's "Waiting on a Woman" and said it was him and his wife's wedding anniversary told the story of how on the day of their wedding, he was sitting on the couch watching music videos and the video for this song came on, and as soon as it went off, it was his cue to go shower and get ready to go to the church. And from that day on, he was "Waiting on a Woman." That one made me a little misty-eyed. Then this woman called in a few nights ago and told the radio host that it was a big day in her family; her uncle was celebrating thirty years of being sober and asked if the host could please, please, please pick a song that would be a perfect tribute to him. They played Kenny Chesney's "The Good Stuff." I've heard that song a million times over, but listening to it in that context made me bawl like a baby. It's a song about this guy who gets into a fight with his lady and goes to a bar, asks the bartender for the good stuff, and the bartender pours him a glass of milk and talks about the good stuff in life and the moments he had with his wife. It's a really sweet song, and it was so perfect.


I didn't listen to country for the longest time. When I was little, I knew two country songs and my three year old butt would run in the living room, with the whole family gathered, and tell everyone to "hush up" because I was going to sing for them. Then I would proceed to serenade my family in my off key, three year old voice with Wynonna Judd's "No One Else on Earth" or Billy Ray's "Achy Breaky Heart." My family still enjoys making fun of me for this; that, or Nana asks me to sing it again, which at twenty-two, is a little more embarrassing... 


I started listening to country a lot more when I was eighteen. I was at my best friend Mandi's house, and I was experiencing my first breakup and being all dramatic and depressed about it. And Mandi knew the cure. She put on some Joe Nichols with "Brokenheartsville," and that was it for me. Who knew there was a song for everything you could ever possibly go through?? Then she decided that the only way to get over a guy was to find a new one. We were going to go out that night and find some boys. I was in her room, putting my makeup on while she was showering. The radio was blaring in the bathroom, and I heard her scream. She ran into the room in a day-glow lime green towel, screaming that this was exactly what she meant, and she turned the radio in her room on and up! Steve Holy's "Brand New Girlfriend" began blasting through the speakers. To this day, when that song comes on, I have to laugh and call Mandi and make fun of her day-glow green towel.


Since then, country is my go to music. Some songs pump me up and get me energetic to start the day. Some are fantastic for cookin' out and throwin' a few back. And some still tug at my heart strings, especially being in this strange, new land. So I wanted to share some of these songs. Those of you who do not listen to country (or don't claim to), this blog will either be a waste of time for you, or you may walk away wanting to listen to it and see if it's something you could get into. 


Miranda Lambert's "The House That Built Me": This song, though newer, is probably my favorite song right now. Every time I hear it, no matter where I am, it makes me cry. It makes me miss home so much. Even when I did go home for Christmas, I listened to this song with my brother, and I still burst into tears, which confused my fourteen year old little ginger brother. The premise of the song is she is going back to the house that she grew up in and asking the woman who lives there if she can take a look around, all while telling the story of the house and the memories she took from it. Though the house that my parents now live in is not the first house I ever lived in, it is the house I grew up in. This summer, the house will be thirteen years old. My parents had the house built, and my family was the first to live in it. "Momma cut out pictures of houses for years from 'Better Home and Gardens' magazine. Plans were drawn, concrete poured, nail by nail and board by board, Daddy gave life to Momma's dream." That is exactly what this house was. And it kills me to think that one day this house will belong to someone else. And I know that one day, I will visit it and ask to look around. I know some markings my family has left over the years will be covered, but I also know the permanent ones and the ones that I will mention to give proof of my life in that house. Every amazing memory of my childhood and adolescence came from that house and the people inside it. So this song speaks to me in a way that I will remember and cherish forever, the same way my parents' house does.


The Band Perry's "If I Die Young": This song came out last year, and though I'm not sure exactly when, it did start playing on the radio a lot around September, when a friend of mine went on to be with Jesus, though he was only twenty. And though the song is about a girl, it makes me think of Austin. I only knew him for a few years. He lived in my cull-de-sac growing up, and he and his sister, Lindsey, rode with us to school in the car pool. He had a fantastic sense of humor, and there are so many things that he said that when I think of them, instead of tears, I find myself laughing. He was a horrible backseat driver, for example, and one day in the car, he announced that he hated backseat drivers. EVERY SINGLE PERSON in the car turned around and said in unison, "YOU ARE A BACKSEAT DRIVER!" And to this day, it cracks me up. He also introduced me to the music of Weird Al, so now every time I hear an exceptionally funny Weird Al song, I think of him. The timing of this song "If I Die Young" really spoke to me. One line says, "And I'll be wearing white when I come into Your Kingdom..." and a few days after Austin's passing, I had a dream that us car pool kids, me, Jordan, Lindsey, and Chacha, were able to see him and say our goodbyes, and Austin was in a white suit and he hugged us all and said not to cry and that he was Home. Writing this is bringing tears to my eyes yet also a bit of peace. Miss Lisa, if you are reading this, Austin is loved by MANY and thought of ALWAYS.


Zac Brown Band's "Free": On our great trek to this midwestern state, this whole album was on repeat in my car. It's a wonderful album, and this song in particular is one of my favorites. "...Travel all across this land, just me and you. Just as free, free as we'll ever be. Jest as free, free as we'll ever be. Drive until the city lights dissolve into a country sky, just me and you." Cole and I did this. Just the two of us, we traveled over twelve hundred miles together to face the unknown. "And we'll end up hand in hand somewhere down upon the sand, just me and you." One day we will make it back to Charleston, and we will park our butts in the sand and reminisce about this journey we made together, just me and him. It's our Wisconsin song, I like to think, or possibly our Army song, as we don't know where we are bound next.


Miranda Lambert's "Heart Like Mine": Another song by Miss Lambert. She has a way of thinking the same way I do. I grew up with a religious background. For a few short years, I kind of rebelled against it. Though I never lost my faith in God, I veered away from Him. I think it had something to do with my Momma. She is the most God-filled woman that I know, and that is probably one of the things I love the most about her. When I went through my rebellious phase, I mostly rebelled against her (bless her heart for the patience she had tried to have with me!) Now, my Momma is one of my best friends. Everyone told me that one day we'd be able to have a relationship that wasn't just mother-daughter and that it would one day be mother-daughter-friend. I never believed it. But now, I can't imagine anything else. I used to keep everything from her, and now I tell her everything -- I probably even tell her too much! But this song encompasses how I feel about my faith now. I can have a relationship with God, I can have the loads of faith that I do, and I can still be me without worry. I have some habits that are not good ones, but I don't feel judged for them. I drink. I have tattoos. But I am still strong in my beliefs. (This song kind of reminded me of Big and Rich's "Somewhere Between Raising Hell and Amazing Grace," which I actually have a coffee mug with the lyrics to, but Miss Lambert's song was more personal to me.) In one line she says, "Daddy cried when he saw my tattoo but said he loved me anyway..." Now, my dad did not cry when he saw my tattoo; he high-fived me. But Momma? Well, she didn't cry either, but I knew she disapproved of tattoos in general (for anyone other than military men, so Cole's tattoos are okay...?) And she said she loved me anyway. The last stanza followed by the chorus are what make this song mean so much to me. "These are the days that I will remember when my name's called on the roll. He'll meet me with two long stemmed glasses and make a toast to me coming Home. 'Cause I heard Jesus, He drank wine, and I bet we'd get along just fine. He could calm a storm and heal the blind, and I bet He'd understand a heart like mine." This song makes me feel a peace about Jesus and my Momma.


Now there is a whole 'nother genre of country music, if you didn't know. It's patriotic country music. Growing up in a military town and being the wife of a Soldier, you know I love this genre. Toby Keith's "American Soldier" may be over-played in the Army, but it has not lost its meaning on me. And when Cole and I went to the ball in Fayetteville in 2009, I got to see the Army band and chorus preform Big and Rich's "The 8th of November," and it was such a magical experience for me. And though I am not a Dixie Chicks fan, their song "Travelin' Soldier" still makes me misty-eyed. I can't pick just one great patriotic country song; there are too many. I think that a line from Darryl Worley's "I Just Came Back From a War" sums it up pretty well: "I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price." I love Soldiers; that's why I married one. ;-) Go hug one today!


To wrap it all up, these are just a few of the songs that have helped me celebrate or deal with a lot of things in my life. If you haven't heard them, you should go listen to them. Now, what are some songs that have an affect on you?

Slowly Adjusting: An Update

I am writing this on my phone, so I'm sorry for the lack of control over the font. The mobile version of this site is obnoxious to me, but I'm in bed and do not feel like getting up to grab the laptop. Though I am working on another blog at the moment that I haven't had the time to finish, I realized that I never gave an update on here about what's going on these days.


Most of you know from Facebook that I started working at Pier 1. For those who don't know, I worked at the Pier 1 in North Charleston for three wonderful, hard, crazy, ridiculous, long, short years. I grew up there. I went from dating 90% of the male customer/employee population to finding a wonderful man (outside of the Pier) and getting married. And I grew so close with the wonderful women I worked with. One of my old coworkers, Sam, was a bridesmaid of mine, and most of my other coworkers were in attendance that day. I have an emotional connection, a love, for that store and the women who worked there with me. Did I mention I also worked with my mom? Uh, hello?! I worked with Pammie J. Be jealous.


When we found out we were moving here, I immediately called the store here, not for a job, but to see if they had a piece of furniture in stock. (Once you purchase something over the phone from Pier 1, you have two weeks to pick it up; that's about all the notice we had to move here. A little exaggeration -- we had three weeks notice.) Long story short, I ended up speaking to the manager, Eugene, when I called about the furniture. I told him what was going on, and he told me a bit about the town (and yelled at me for calling him "sir.") He told me that once we moved, to come in and talk to him because he was hiring.


So I did. Our second day in town, I went in to talk with him. And I actually turned down working there. For multiple reasons. I didn't want to take the job right away for fear that the adjustment with the move would be tougher than I anticipated (uh, duh.) I turned it down because I didn't want to go into it, knowing I wouldn't be able to give 100% on the job. I turned it down, too, because I was so scared of snow that although we moved here in July, I wanted to wait and get a job after I learned to drive in the snow; you can bet your behind that I would have called work in December, saying, "It's Leslie. It's snowing. Is the store closed today?... No?... Well, I can't come in.... Why? Because it's snowing!" And that would probably have been the end of my Pier 1 career.


As it so happens, I was in the store shopping last month, and I ran in to Eugene. (No one else will find this strange but me. I shop there a lot. And I NEVER saw him in the store until this particular time, and now that I work there, I wonder if he ever goes home!) Anyway, Eugene is very direct. He simply said, "Why aren't you working for me yet?" I gave him the most honest answer (and the least crazy) and told him I needed that time to adjust and I knew I couldn't make work my top priority. He told me that he was hiring again, and asked if I wanted to work there, and he gave me the weekend to think about it and call him back.


I called him the next day and interviewed that Monday. I did think about it. And this is the conclusion I came to: I'm still adjusting to this place. I'm still not Wisconsin's number one fan, and I may never be. But Pier 1 means a lot to me. Sure, they (we) sell great product and yada, yada, yada. But I have an emotional connection with Pier 1. I grew up there. My mom and half my friends still work there. In a different building halfway across the country, yes. But this new store is my slice of home. It is my constant. If I have nothing to talk about but am dying to hear my momma's voice, I can talk about work with her, and we can talk for hours. I can give this job 100% because it isn't just a job to me; it's the one thing that makes me feel like I'm not a million miles away from everything I've ever known.


I've worked for a few weeks now, and I love it. I'm meeting people and enjoying socializing, and I very much look forward to the new friendships I am making. Everyone is so sweet.


And if any of my girls from North Charleston are reading this, none of you will ever be replaced, and I miss you all like mad. And Michelle, I have no one thus far to bond with over Jimmy Buffet and margaritas :-( and I'm the only one here with a badass car. ;-)